Hmmmm how to describe Return to Paradise? Well, imagine you have a nice glass of wine. It’s a decent quality brand, a pretty nice taste and all. Then you think should I drink it all at once or make it last a bit longer? Probably you’ll say ok I’ll make it last longer. The longer the better, right? So you take another glass, pour half in one, half in the other. But now you have two half-filled glasses and that won’t do. So the idea comes! Let’s put some water in each glass so they will both end up full. After you do that you taste one of them. Not so good now, is it?It felt like these two books should have been merged together. Lay off some irrelevant and silly details and you get a good book.My main problem in this Return to Paradise was Caleb. He turned out to be some piece of work. I guess it was too easy if he was his old self and the book wouldn’t occupy enough space after being printed. So we get a bit of stuffing for our chicken, yes?Caleb was an ass when he left. I mean I get it, he felt like he doesn’t belong anywhere, that he’s causing his family pain and suffering. But the girl you love is begging you to stay and you go with the drug dealer dude to live in a shithole and then, omg the surprise!!!, get arrested. Plus remember what he told Maggie. Leaving is a gesture of cowardice. Hmmmm hypocrite much? He left with the first occasion he got. But I guess Caleb likes to make a soap opera out of his life so we have to understand his decisions. *facepalm*Seriously Maggie’s a wuss. Yeah she’s a geek and all so I shouldn’t have high expectations from her attitude but she’s trying to act like she’s Xena Warrior Princess. She gets into dialogues thinking " Hah ill show them who’s weak!! Take that you caca smeared teddy bear!!!" does not work for me. As hard as she tries she can never be strong. She’s afraid of spiders for crying out loud!We also had the typical third guy gig. I really think they should find another solution for these stories. Adding the perfect guy who’s good to the girl and treats her well is old-school. We all know things won’t work between them the good dude will retire with a big fake smile on his face and turn into a damn psycho killer and the girl will end up with the hero have ten kids and die happy by the hand of the psycho killer. Fortunately Matt turned out to be “just a friend” and ended up back with his ex or whatever. Good save!Hmmm cute ending. No epilogue so we don’t know if Maggie and Caleb will get married, turn gay or move to Mars (surely people will live on Mars by that time). And as a conclusion what can I say? I’m not impressed. At all. It started as a decent concept but ended up typical teen love story. It got me bored, it didn’t have any exciting moments and the characters got more annoying (especially Caleb) with every page turned. A good read for all you hopeless romantics though.Top 5 quotes#5 "Haven't you ever heard the phrase, If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat? That goes for stray pubes, as well."#4 "Eww," Trish cries out. "Do you have to call it a stump?""Would you rather I call it my partial appendage?" Matt asks, pulling up his sleeve and showing off what remains of his left arm.#3 I instinctively throw what I'm folding. Oops. A pair of panties, which he catches in one hand and holds up. It's a neutral-colored pair, without any designs."Please tell me these are your mom's."#2 Lenny springs off the couch and envelops my dad in a huge bear hug. My dad steps back, totally caught off guard, but keeps his balance. I bet he's silently thanking his high school football coach for those balance drills in high school."Nice to meet you, Dad," Lenny says. "Or should I call you Dr. Becker? Or Dr. B., or just Doc?"#1 Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those big, comfy granny panties she's got on.Read the review on ZombieHazard.