The Great Destroyer

Destroying books since 1999.

Natural Born Charmer (Chicago Stars, #7) - Susan Elizabeth Phillips I have to start with this: WTF??? Headless beaver? Seriously?? I was on the floor laughing because of this. I didn’t read the summary (as my bad–and-not-so-bad habit dictates) so the surprise was awesome! I knew I’d fall in love with this book, and I did. It was insanely good.It’s been a while since I laughed so much from reading a book. My mum was giving me awkward faces because of the stupid grin I had. Sooooo many funny moments! If I’d have to pick my favorite quotes from this book I’d just copy paste every word from it. This is why I love Susan Elizabeth Phillips so much. She feeds my quote addiction… Feeds it sooo well…. Mmmmmm…The characters have depth. Even though they are funny and joke all the time, deep inside they have dramas that shape their personalities into what they are. If you think this book is just for laughs, you’re wrong. Susan Elizabeth Phillips always writes a good emotional story.Loved the endless verbal sparring between Dean and Blue. The way she was teasing him was priceless. They make such a cute couple. I’d bring them together, sit on the couch and just watch them beat each other’s ass for an entire day. Or two.It’s cruel of Dean to use the poor girl (Blue) only for getting some distance between women who harass him, fans and nosy people. But thinking about Blue’s reasons why she’s sticking with him I guess they’re even. She needs a place to stay and some money, he needs a leper who scares people away. *boos sound from the crowd* What? The leper thing was too much? Never mind then...The way Blue acts with Mrs. Garrison amazes me. I respect this chick with all my heart. She’s the female character I love the most from the Chicago Stars series. I can’t give you the reasons why I like her the most. I probably dunno them myself. But I respect strong and funny people and she fits the requirements perfectly. Plus a fellow artist and all that. Wish I had the talent to come up with all these mean replies... Could I find a book about this? How to get meaner in 50 simple steps. Amazon here I come!Why is it so damn hard for me to picture Dean dancing? I see they have this as a therapy thing for, you know, dramatic things. So they dance and dance. The chicks are easy to imagine. Jack also, but a bit blurry. But Dean... I keep getting the image of a chicken flapping its wings in a retarded way on a stupid farm song. It’s just wrong!!!Jack and April also have a nice story. I used to think being a rockstar would be awesome. Living an excited life, singing or playing an instrument, rocking on stage. But eventually it ends your private life, messes with your head and transforms you into a different person. This different person turns out to be bad in most cases. Jack is a really complicated guy so I can’t really see how April could have had a normal life with him in the past. Not to mention her whoring around which made me disrespect her. I was trying so hard not to judge April. Leaving your child just so you could waste time with rockers and get nailed by them is a little too much. Now she’s trying to make things right but it sure won’t be easy. I tried to like her but I failed. Especially in the beginning. Same goes with Jack, which I hated till the end. I mean yeah he tried to justify himself and all but he f*cked up too much in my opinion. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive him if he was my father.Riley was an interesting kid. Yes I know you’re thinking I lost my mind for saying this but the kid is actually mature and intelligent. I mean she’s eleven and thinking about suicide. Gotta respect that uhm... maturity... I guess? And when that jerk kid left her alone in the night on a deserted road I actually felt bad for her... I have to go check on my medication. There was a bit too much focus on her so I thought the story will get ruined because of this. She was good in the end, I didn’t even mind her. I like the amount of drama that revolved around her; if it was more than this I wouldn’t feel content with the story.Nita is a strange woman. She made me hate her at times because of how annoying she is and laugh in other times when she was... well... annoying as well. So an annoying character that shifts your mood according to Blue’s cooking.I’m talking too much aren’t I? Too serious and stuff huh? Well then you leave me no choice! Behold my secret weapon!!!Yep! Keep on staring at that while I finish my review!Moving on… In the end, a perfect turn of events. As usual I was trying to guess how it’s going to end, to try to see what problems they’ll have, to predict the typical big fight and who will be the one crawling back and apologizing. As usual, Susan Elizabeth Phillips bitchslapped me. God I can’t predict this woman at all!!!! This is one of the main reasons why she’s between my top favorite authors. Loved the story, the characters were as usual messed up in the head and just plain awesome. Blue was such a great heroine and Dean was simply perfect. A touchy side-story and lots of good romance. My favorite book in the series.I couldn’t make the review funnier. It’s not a bad thing right? Being boring from time to time is good for you!P.S. Choosing the damn quotes was so hard for me!!! Just five out of so many that I selected. A tough job indeed!Top 5 quotes#5 “I’m not a drug dealer!” he retorted hotly.“You’re not a movie star.”“Don’t rub it in. The truth is, I’m a semifamous male model with ambitions of being a movie star.”“You’re gay.”#4 “I’ll take your best suite,” he said. “And a small room by the elevator for my insane companion. If that’s a problem, put her next to any old ice machine.”#3 “The first time I saw her was at a street carnival.” He walked over to inspect the countertops. “She had her face stuck through one of those wooden cutouts, so naturally she caught my attention. You’ve got to admit that face is something. By the time I saw the rest of her, it was too late.”“I’m sitting right here,” Blue reminded them.#2 “Uh, ma’am…You need some help?”Her paws didn’t break rhythm. “You got a gun?”“Not with me.”“Then I’ve got no use for you.”#1 “Acht, this Dean Roam-a-lot, he is very famous man in America, yes? My poor husband”—she curled her fingers around Dean’s arm—“his Eeenglish is veddy, veddy bad, and he does not understand this. But my Eeenglish is veddy, veddy good, yes? And everywhere we go, these pipples—pipples like you—they come up to him and say they think he is this man, this Dean Roam-a-lot. But I say, no, my husband is not famous in America, but veddy famous in our country. He is a veddy famous—how you say?—por-nog-ra-pher.”Read the review on ZombieHazard.