The Great Destroyer

Destroying books since 1999.

The Two Towers: Being the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings (The Lord of the Rings, #2) - J.R.R. Tolkien Since this is LOTR and I guess I’m supposed to be nice in this review I’ll start by posting a character sheet or whatever this is. It’s been a while since I wanted to find one and luckily I did using our wonderful friend, Google. So here are the most popular characters:Some don’t look as I imagine they would be but let’s appreciate the people who did the casting for the movie. They did a pretty good job.Now back to my main problem about this book. Why can’t I make a funny review for Lord of the Rings?!?! Seriously this sucks… and I keep on thinking about how the first season of Game of Thrones ended… watched it about an hour ago… I know it’s irrelevant but damn I’m troubled. So far I’m sad to tell you that I found the story boring. I hope I’m not turning into a LOTR hater… God no!!!! Please!!! Anything but that!!!!If this Tolkien dude wrote LOTR in a comic book way, or say like a RPG game like Dragon Age or something… imagine!!! There are LOTR games out there anyways but even those are boring… why oh Lord do they tend to ruin it like this? But still imagine something a bit more dynamic! How awesome would that be?? I was so damn close to falling asleep while reading this and I’m not happy about it. I was fascinated by the story but for some unknown and really freaky reasons I get sleepy while reading the book… Is this revenge someone is taking on me? Am I cursed? Will The Vampire Diaries never end? I must know the answers to all of these questions!!!What’s the solution to making this book better you ask? Well if it was up to me I’d bring in Batman. Trust me, anything that has Batman in it becomes epic. “Because I’m batman!!!” check out this vidAnother problem I encountered was about the ugly creatures being bad and the pretty ones being good. Why are things always like this? Now the army of Saruman is full of orcs… Why wasn’t it full of unicorns? I find unicorns as scary as orcs… I mean they can get all psycho and bite your head off… Imagine that on the battlefield. Anyways I’ll try to be serious now. I guess this book needs you to be in a certain mood in order to savor it properly…. Unfortunately I wasn’t in this particular mood so I had some difficulties enjoying it. I’m not going to give it a bad rating since it’s a pretty good book and I respect the series and the author. Maybe some other day I’ll re-read it and enjoy it more.What I loved about this book? Mostly the scenes with Gollum. I may be strange but I really love the creature and actually seeing him illustrated in the movie made me like him even more. I also liked the story towards the end even though Sam and Frodo were a bit too gay for my taste. I get the whole brotherly love thing but some scenes were too much for me to handle.Since I didn’t find so many quotes that I liked I couldn’t build the Top Five Quotes soooo I’ll just hit you with something else that I loved:ENT. When Spring unfolds the beechen leaf, and sap is in the bough;When light is on the wild-wood stream, and wind is on the brow;When stride is long, and breath is deep, and keen the mountain-air,Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is fair!ENTWIFE. When Spring is come to garth and field, and corn is in the blade;When blossom like a shining snow is on the orchard laid;When shower and Sun upon the Earth with fragrance fill the air,I'll linger here, and will not come, because my land is fair.ENT. When Summer lies upon the world, and in a noon of goldBeneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold;When woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the West,Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is best!ENTWIFE. When Summer warms the hanging fruit and burns the berry brown;When straw is gold, and ear is white, and harvest comes to town;When honey spills, and apple swells, though wind be in the West,I'll linger here beneath the Sun, because my land is best!ENT. When Winter comes, the winter wild that hill and wood shall slay;When trees shall fall and starless night devour the sunless day;When wind is in the deadly East, then in the bitter rainI'll look for thee, and call to thee; I'll come to thee again!ENTWIFE. When Winter comes, and singing ends; when darkness falls at last;When broken is the barren bough, and light and labour past;I'll look for thee, and wait for thee, until we meet again:Together we will take the road beneath the bitter rain!BOTH. Together we will take the road that leads into the West,And far away will find a land where both our hearts may rest."Read the review on ZombieHazard.