The Great Destroyer

Destroying books since 1999.

The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie (Highland Pleasures, #1) - Jennifer Ashley Review from ZombieHazard.This book is good. All the reviews I saw for it were, to say it nicely, kissing its ass pretty badly. I get why everyone reacts this way. If you’re into the genre this would be a pretty big deal. If you’re not into the genre it will be from good to decent. Since I’m not into historical romance it was ok for me. It was nice that I actually had a nice and unpredictable story to enjoy. Add some interesting characters and a nice happy ending and you get a good result.What I didn’t like about the book? The first half when it was a bit too passive for my taste. And some other minor details that I will highlight throughout my wonderful and most-serious review.I find Ian amusing and fascinating at the same time. I have a thing for crazy people... Let’s not be cruel and call him crazy… He’s an artist. Eccentric and easily distractive. End of discussion. I respect the strength that he shows and his keen intelligence. I respect his pure heart. You have to admit he acts like a kid sometimes but it didn’t bother me. Much.Ian Mackenzie is in fact an alien came from outer space to teach humans how to evolve from their undeveloped state. He has the ability to learn every move just by staring at it once. He can pick up emotions with only one touch. But he has one problem. No, make it two problems. First of all he is not capable of having feelings. This will prove as a hard test (pun intended if you may) when faced with the beautiful and fiery Beth Ackerley. His second problem is his sensitivity to porcelain, which can be considered both his strength and his weakness. Will Ian be able to hide his identity amongst humans? Will he be able to grow feelings for the insatiable Beth? Stay tuned for another episode of Porcelain-Man!Porcelain-Man! He fights crime with lots of porcelain… stuff!!! Nananananananana Porcelain-Man nananananannaa!!!!I didn’t know how to react to Ian’s shopping spree (to call it this way). So let me get this straight. You go to opera. You see hottie lady. You want to bed, as they say, the hottie lady. So you want to marry her in order to bed her. Am I right? Now let me put it another way. You go to the supermarket. You see good promotion for beer. You want to drink beer badly. So you want to buy the beer in order to drink it. So what do you say? Do I have a case to present to the authorities in order to nail Ian for trying to buy the poor girl as a sex slave?Why did I have the feeling that Beth was treating Ian like he is in fact crazy? She was way too nice to him and accepted marrying him without as much as an angry reaction. And speaking of anger, she had none. How can this be??? The book had so many moments where any human being would have steam blowing out of their ears. Her reaction? “Oh my” *pause* “What are we having for dinner?” *pause*. WTF?!? She’s either a saint (after the things she did that’s out of the question) or just considering Ian crazy. Which he is. Kinda. Shame on you Beth!! In the end I still couldn’t decide whether I like or dislike her. I guess she’s one of those characters who’ll remain neutral to me.Inspector Fellows is some piece of work. I imagine him having a fat human’s body, short legs and a rat’s face. And I mean an actual rat’s face. I like to keep myself entertained by imagining him go around the streets in a pale brown coat holding a magnifying glass in front of his eyes. (Heh. At a point Beth actually said Fellows resembles a rat! I’m good!)Mather is also a comical character. I think they could make a comic book out of this. Oh wait! Nananananananana Porcelain-Man nananananannaa!!!!The brothers were also interesting. I can’t think of which I like best; I guess I have to read the other books to find out.Before I got I must mention a few more things:1. Why was Ian close to giving a porcelain bowl a blowjob. Is it just me? Was I imagining it?2. Why do I have the need to break Ian’s balls bowls?3. Am I the only one who finds Scottish accents hot?